I cant believe I'm doing this...

Hmm...I still don't know why I suddenly decided to start a blog. I already told myself a long time ago that creative writing is not really my forte. I guess I could consider being stubborn as one.

There's a lot of things in my mind. I get to express them by talking to myself sometimes. Heh. Kinda scary, but sometimes I do that. Dont get me wrong, I do have friends. Lots actually (well, at least that's what I think). But the feeling of being vulnerable by speaking what's in your mind can be frightening at times.

Cowardice? Hmm, I dont think so. It's actually more like i dont want anyone to get offended or at least get bored of whatever it is that I'm thinking. Defensive as it may sound, I think I'm just very considerate to what others would think of me.

Insecure? Hmm...probably. I grew up having not much confidence in myself. Growing up, I always find myself getting into unpleasant situations that pulls down my self-esteem before it even gets a chance to launch itself into a higher ground. It's good that i can now laugh at those experiences whenever I try to remember them. Most of them are really embarassing. Only a few fractions can be considered disastrous, confusing, and even downright pityful. Oh well, like Chritine Lahti's character in Studio 60 said: "Trust me, it’s like seasickness. You think you’re gonna die, and everybody else just thinks it’s funny."

So... what the hell have I been talking about and how is it related to this blog? Hmm..I honestly dont know.